We live in a generation of technology and social media. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter for the past few years have enabled us to be even more public about our private lives and be nosy about other’s- and that includes relationship status. It seems that for many, this enablement has caused them to allow their relationship status to define them. For many, their bios (where you’re asked to give a brief foretaste of who you are or what you’re like) are strictly about their relationship status- who they date, how long they’ve been dating and so forth. I have even seen some people go as far as to make their social media name be things along the lines of “Dayday’sGirl, Johnny’sWife, etc.” you get my point. Now I am not saying that it is a sin, or that there is anything wrong with posting your significant other of filling your bio with them or even including them in your @ name. The problem comes when we allow our relationships to define who we are. What I am saying is that I feel a lot of us lose our identity and who we are within our relationships.
Facebook allows you to choose from a list of various relationship statuses; single, engaged, married, etc. to set as your status. I don’t use Facebook personally, so I was surprised when I saw how far in depth the relationship status options go.
Twitter and Instagram offer profiles for us to share our relationship status if we wish by simply putting “taken” or putting our significant other’s name surrounded by personally selected emojis. And all of these social media sites, including Snapchat, allow us to be able to privately message each other to inquire about their relationship status if they had not chosen to publicly share. Social media was originally for networking but now it seems to be centered around and focused on relationships and hooking up with different people.
People use social media to show how happy they are in their relationships of course- which I have no problem with, it’s cute, matter of fact, I’m notorious for doing that when I’m in a relationship myself. However, I don’t like when people desperately display how lonely they are being single.
Now we have all seen these memes:
And I have recently seen some new ones:
And I have had followers to post things saying, “Everyone claims I’m cute, then why am I still single?” and, “I know I’m ugly.”, “Forever alone.”
STOP IT! JUST STOP!
It seems that society has brainwashed us into believing that something must be wrong with you if you’re single and that if you are single, you are miserable and unhappy about it.
I actually saw a guy tweet once that if you try to talk to a girl and she says she isn’t looking for a relationship, she really just isn’t over her last dude. How obnoxious is that?! You don’t have to always be wanting a relationship. Singleness comes with many pros just as being in a relationship does. There is a reason for each season in your life.
LET ME GET TO THE POINT I’M MAKING HERE…
People love to ask, “Are you single?” and the next question after that is normally, “why are you single?” But the question shouldn’t be, “why are you single?”
“Our questions need to shift from, ‘Why are you single?’ to, ‘For what purpose are you single?’”
– Sovereign Hope Church
The same God Who orchestrates the steps of your life for a purpose, orchestrates your relationship status for a purpose. You experience seasons of being single for a reason. It isn’t to curse you, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, and it doesn’t even have to mean that you’ve done something wrong. There is something that The Lord wants you to learn and accomplish while you’re free from the strain and demand of someone else. There’s a purpose behind everything God does and allows.
17 And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life…
1 Corinthians 7:17
Being single is a gift, just as being in a relationship can be- both have their pros as I stated before. Being in a relationship can be great and be a blessing (when with the right one) and the same goes for being single. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:7 that he actually wishes everyone were single like him, he says it’s easier to live a single life.
“Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! “
Being single allows you to devote yourself fully to God. Not to say that you can’t serve God while in a relationship, but when single, you’re able to devote more of your time and energy into doing things for The Lord. You’re able to focus on your relationship with Christ more and experience Him on a deeper level as you dive further into Who He Is. You have the freedom to witness and minister, and come and go as you wish. You’re able to focus on who you are, who you’re called to be and the process it takes to become that person.
32-35 I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
I understand that social media keeps reminding us that we’re entering cuffing season but don’t allow a man-made season to cause you to try to step out of the God given season you’re in. God has you in this season of singleness for a reason. Get what God has for you while there.
Don’t ask God why you’re single, ask Him your purpose in being single so you can fulfill it and be ready for when He sends you the partner He has for you in the next season, His ordained cuffing season.